Continue reading “America captures the hearts and minds and money of the commodity endings”
When the smoke cleared and joy divided out came New Order pot or zen
A Day in the Life of an Imaginative Misfit
I’m watching her go from fridge to cooker to cup and back again (her daily exercise).
‘Cream!’ She muffles under her breath.
She forgot the cream for her extra-large stuffed with marshmallows hot chocolate, so she slops back again………….
Jesus how fat and sloppy and lazy she has become.
‘Why is he looking at me that way…. filthy loser’
I know that look-nothing is said but I know what she’s thinking-she doesn’t even have to move her lips-her eyes say it all.
And so, the day has begun-I sleep in the spare room-she and her fat arse have the double room with the double bed.
She usually gets up around eight.
I put the pillow over my head as I can’t stand listening to her rustling and squelching in the bathroom then groaning, hawking and spitting into the sink.
How did it ever come to this he thought?
Here’s her mother Christ what now?
She walks in without knocking-like she lives here.‘
Ah hello Eileen’ I say with my best sarcastic smile-of course she wouldn’t know sarcasm in fact she couldn’t spell it.
‘What brings you around this fine day?’I imagine what it would be like killing her.
She brushes past-totally ignoring me.Collusion, Isolation, Alienation aka CIA women with a plan.
We’re on a collision course.
I could ask her to come woodcutting with me-winter is on the way.
Stand there now Eileen stand by the trunk of that tree great-I’d start up the chainsaw-and before she knew it her head would be rolling along the ground- her bulging eyes staring at me.
‘Any news baldy’ she laughs
Don’t call me that! Bitch! I think not answering.
I start cutting off her arms then her legs-it’s the silence and the peace, never having to listen to her again.
A human splayed jigsaw.
I amble off to my bedroom to get dressed while Bitch and ol bag talk shite in the kitchen.
Phone rings it’s-The Johnny said my laptops ready- thank Christ-the only thing worth looking at in this place.
Now that’s a grand life Johnny has-your own life.
‘We’re going to Neds.’ she shouts from the hallway.
‘What? Hold on
I have to collect my laptop from Johnny’s.
’Now I’m imagining taking both of them for a spin over a cliff, jumping out at the last minute-waving-I’d hear the screams and the roaring-and I’d laugh as they flew-then nosed it into the open-mouthed sea below.
‘I’m sure the world of porn can wait for you.’ she calls out herself and her mother roaring with laughter.
In my car!!
As my palm cupped her chin
‘shut up’ a squeal comes through the trellis of fissure skinned fingers squashing her face.
Come on he thought he pushed harder he couldn’t get in fuck it.
He feels tension, he’s coming she keeps squealing and crying ‘shuuut up’!!! he presses her mouth’.
Jesus he’s all over her-stop fucking crying he squeezes each word on her throat. Then out of nowhere
Sleep is temporary death time -being dead is time entwined eternally
She knew death temporarily waking up after her hip operation-a knee operation-a broken pelvis-she was knocked unconscious at least 5 times.
She also knew she was booked for a 2nd hip op in June.
She had been in oblivion a place no one knows but being there is silence. It is not categorisible it is beyond comprehension and human knowing-somewhere but where is where-a black hole a subsumption of all the external and informational-it is unknown.
These temporary timeouts are to the wander lustre a place beyond all cognition and recognition.
When she would become conscious after these time lapses her surroundings were frightening-the air-the lights-the colours-the people-the world.
There was an inner cry for release, but it was always imprisonment. Shackled to the earth’s time bomb.
Why do people fear death it can’t be bad or good it is silence. Endless. Over. Timeless.
It is the living who cannot face the death of another. This right to be forever. The expectancy of the living to control life in a never ending prevention-delay-deny-hinder-obstruct an others excursion to uncharted fateful destinies.
And it certainly cannot be worse than this hell hole she thought.
14 long years here-what exactly was her purpose did she need 1 no-did she have 1 no-pulled and pushed-force fed-depressed-oppressed-suppressed-rightless-voiceless-ignored-afraid.
Hello Mercy, my friend have you come for me?
Boxed in this filament of excrement by insouciant eyes and caring guise of Americanism
Here she is 91 92 next month how did it ever get to this-if she lost her mind at least she wouldn’t know what was going on-being treated like a lump of meat. That’s all she is. Serving out her time to keep Continue reading “Boxed in this filament of excrement by insouciant eyes and caring guise of Americanism”
The American Mould-Nearer my God to Thee-silently praying in votive adoration-wishing-hoping for Divine Intervention and Expiration
When it came to be Nearer to God and the chips were down-others clung on vice like to the old trunk-like larva to a leaf nothing could rip them off her not even hurricane Jim.
She was 91, 92 next month.
Sometimes you would wonder what do grown elderly adults of elder parents want. You’re an adult of 61 years of age maybe married maybe not have children maybe not-but the attachment to this trunk is like a vine wrapped and clinging Continue reading “The American Mould-Nearer my God to Thee-silently praying in votive adoration-wishing-hoping for Divine Intervention and Expiration”
Tumescent Terminus PTCA PK et al 11.11.2016 @11.11
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
Tumescent Terminus PTCA PK et al 11.11.2016 @
Ambulance doors open.
Expectancy heightens the ‘imminent’.
With no dissent she is lowered down from the ambulance put on a stretcher and wheeled down a corridor.
‘You’re ok’ said the ambulance man pushing fast.
What? she thinks
A face appears above hers, eyes brown and intense he’s telling her she needs to sign a form, a disclaimer in case she bleeds to death, has a stroke, a h……..her mind which had been compliant and silent is now in overload: too much assiduity and action.
‘What go away’ she thinks
What is he on about?
She hates being centre of attention and mostly she hates Continue reading “Tumescent Terminus PTCA PK et al 11.11.2016 @11.11”
Shortest Day of the Year Sunday Dec 22.2019
There it is stretched farthest
Snapped back to longest
Gradually and slowly
By minute by hour
Time eats up
Passive suicide engineered by the pleasure principle BODIES BY JOSIE LONG BBC4
BODIES BY JOSIE LONG BBC4
The pleasure principle (if you want to know more follow the link) is a notion aka theory not practical which was executed by Freud borrowed by him from Fechner. It’s a grand theory of Continue reading “Passive suicide engineered by the pleasure principle BODIES BY JOSIE LONG BBC4”
Engineering Passive Suicide
Engineering something is easy once you know how. The easiest thing to engineer is behaviour.
People in power know this. Without stating the obvious you’re one click Continue reading “Engineering Passive Suicide”
Violent liar kills your inner self treating you like a dog:the dog was lucky
Violent liar kills your inner self treating you like a dog:the dog was lucky
he listens to squeals of my dog dying in his mother’s house by hanging
the signs= he cries-threats-manipulates-jealous-obsessive-
Continue reading “Violent liar kills your inner self treating you like a dog:the dog was lucky”
Peter said ‘why do you block the silence Alice’? Then putting a gun to her head he shot her.
He waited as she bled out-the colour drained quite quickly from her face. He didn’t know why he did this-he loved her-something in him?
He bent down and kissed her open mouth-then he stared intently into blackness of her open eyes Continue reading “The Trinity excoriated, others wept for what they thought would be: Peter Heller Big Love”
he’s seen it thousands of times before, it defies the natural order of life and death.
It deprives the soul gatherers their right to nourish and feed the dead on their way.
There’s never a way out once the man with the smiling and focused face-his bag of tools-his fleet of foot enters Euclids equation- you can’t stop him said Ra to Imentet.
Distract her, distract him make him stop-make……..him stop I don’t want that soul lost in the netherlands of damnation.
Then it happened…………he looked at her……….
we were victims of the knife cutting he went into my soul. He took my arm, cut it and I don’t know how it happened but we were destiny. She said he said they can’t speak shut up and fuck me.
WHAT A WILD THING TO DO TO MAKE ME DREAM OF YOU
He Knows Ok
Darkness in the valley
His hands push and pull
him to search and watch the glisten glow
Undulations rise and fall
as he blows gently
POTHOS (Pothus) was the god of sexual longing, yearning and desire. He was one of the winged love-gods known as Erotes.
Algol Paradox is life’s paradox
In the case of Algol and other binary stars, something completely different is observed: The less massive star is already a subgiant while the star with much greater mass is still on the main-sequence. Since the partner stars of the binary are thought to have formed at approximately the same time and so should have similar ages, this appears paradoxical. The more massive star, rather than the less massive one, should have left the main sequence.
The paradox is resolved by the fact that in many binary stars, there can be a flow of material between the two, disturbing the normal process of stellar evolution. As the flow progresses, their evolutionary stage will advance, even as the relative masses change. Eventually, the originally more massive star will reach the next stage in its evolution despite having lost much of its mass to its companion.
On different planes which flow on stars deep in the crevasse
your beauty was gleaming with delight to see wonderment at last
carried off smiling like snow melting sweetly where earth met Gryphus
Succumb Time emc AOD 10.30 11.11.2016
The Seirenes are coming
Dead! Dying. What is my mind on about, she thought.
That’s what is happening : it’s curtains, get it together and take action. It made no sense dying from what? When? How? Why?
The journey to the Dr’s was an intense overriding of bodily attention versus mind control: the mind won.
Calmly driving into the parking area in front of the doctor’s surgery, no spaces, only a handicapped spot.
Damn it. What now ‘would you just park there’ the mind said.
‘God my car will be towed they better make it quick’.
Locking the car door she made her way to the surgery.
She pushed her way through the entrance, bent over with a prehensile hand on the banister she dragged herself to the top, through the doors: ‘Please’, she said ‘I need to see a doctor’.
Two women stared back at her one said
‘I’m afraid there is no one free until 11.30’.
‘Ok well I’ll have to wait here as I can’t go any further’ she said.
Feeling immolated she cowered and dragged herself to a chair. She felt sick.
There was nothing from the brain-the mind or the body. Silence. Sitting she slumped forward.
Within a minute she heard: ‘Hi Siobhán follow me’.
Unsure if she could support herself she felt weak kneed, her eyes blurry she saw the Dr glance back, as if he half expected her to fall over. She followed him. Would she make it?
Her back was killing her. The pain was intense and inexpressible.
Given a guess some strong pain killers will kill it.
Sitting down her head bowed there was no energy to hold it up
‘Ok where is the pain’ he said.
‘In my back’.
‘Would you hop up there and I’ll take a look’
Unsteady she hauled herself over to the examination table.
She lay down it felt good
Her head felt fuzzy and her eyes started to close she wanted to sleep.
She could feel a stethoscope on her chest and her head fell to the side.
Blood pressure was taken.
‘Can you tell me between 1 and 10 the pain you feel?’ a voice said.
Seven maybe 8.
From then on death was hovering-
‘see body’ mind said.
How could you be and not be at the same time. Nothing was registering. She felt safe but otherworldly. Degree by degree nothing made sense why wasn’t anyone talking to her. Was she dead now. She felt ……………nothing……drifting……..away….. she was conflicted right there with the moving world. Glad.
He got up and made a call. It was in whispered tones and she couldn’t make a word out. Couldn’t have cared either way. Words wouldn’t come she was now struck deaf and dumb.
Open your mouth and chew this tablet now lift your tongue she felt a spray on it. And another spray.
He made another call.
A nurse appeared at her side she put the wires on her chest.
She felt so tired, for some reason there were no thoughts in her head and no questions to ask she didn’t have the energy or the brain power. The body lay there.
Was this an augury of what was to come?
‘ok Siobhán open your mouth and chew on these tablets’
‘open your mouth lift your tongue’
he sprayed water into her mouth.
Two men appeared some chit chat with the doctor-then they spoke to her.
With an out of body willingness she went with their requests.
‘Now we are going to put this around you’,
A foil cape caressed her body
‘now just sit down here in the wheelchair’.
‘We are going to take you downstairs’.
Even while this was going on all conceptual thoughts vanished. She has some temporary stress related locked in syndrome. Nothing showed up on the perceptual side of her brain, nothing in the logical.
Nothing or no one hinted at anything. The men seemed jovial even. ‘You’re ok, don’t worry’.
Why couldn’t she muster up a question? Talk. Say something. Ask! Jesus what’s wrong with me? Blank.
‘Don’t worry your in good hands’.
In the ambulance there wasn’t a hint of anything? Being fed tablets, her blood pressure taken, spray is sprayed, rustling and wires, talk, questions, mask over her face all went quiet.
The sirene’s song played.
What lay ahead she couldn’t imagine!
Nothing could prepare her. Her body and mind had now separated to such a degree that language and sensation made no sense.
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